Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
