HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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