the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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