I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
