I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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