Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We left the knife in your bed.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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