just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
