3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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