***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
