Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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