he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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