I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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