My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
