I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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