This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
