Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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