he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
