He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
