Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
