i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
