So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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