I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
