I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
