if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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