So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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