I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
