question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
