yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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