he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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