I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
