were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
