Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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