Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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