"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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