I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
