Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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