she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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