I seem to have left my pride at pride
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
