I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
