party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
