is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
