I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
