My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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