This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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