when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
