I accidentally had phone sex last night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
