Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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