Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
