During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
