Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
