You're completely useless in the revolution.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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