You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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