How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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