Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
