so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
