Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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