Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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