i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
