so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
birth control should be required to get into college
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Congratulations! We have a period
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