and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
