i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
