I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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