belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My hand turned me down
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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