12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
