i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
