We named our party play list daddy issues
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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